For people that haven’t yet fully realized that all of us need to be emotionally responsible (which is most people), this is where much of the pain of the breakup originates from (they blame themselves for not “measuring up”…or they blame the other person for not “making them happy”… It’s incredibly painful to believe that someone else could be responsible for your emotions or that you could possibly be responsible for their emotions.In the same regard, when a relationship ends, it is much much harder for a guy to go back and discuss and revisit and talk through and explain, etc. In fact, guys like to keep their emotional spectrum focused on a tight range of emotions – somewhere between amusement and contentedness.
When we believe something that is out of alignment with reality, we suffer…
To wrap up this point: Most people can’t recognize when they believe something impossible, nor can they see the false belief as the source for all of the suffering…
Unfortunately, it’s a false sense of well-being and is entirely dependent on the actions of others (thus the inevitable crippling neediness).
For men and women, growth in relationship is in direct proportion to one’s sense of emotional responsibility.
To dispel the misconceptions, let’s take a look at some of the universal truths about guys and breakups – some of which may surprise you since they certainly are hidden from the surface. Simple enough to say, but I know plenty of women will talk about how some guy came off like an insensitive jackass after the relationship fell apart because of his actions post-breakup.
The fact is: If a guy is profoundly obnoxious or terrible after a breakup, it is most often a testament to how rough the breakup was on him. MORE: 5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Guys Jerry Seinfeld once said that breaking up a relationship needs to be like taking off a Band-aid – One motion: OFF!When a person (male or female) realizes that only they themselves can be responsible for their emotions, actions, and reactions…they break the chain of seeking a sense of OK-ness externally.That is to say, he seeks his feeling of validation and worth from how a woman treats him.It’s not uncommon for people, men or women, to derive their sense of well-being, self-worth, and self-esteem from how other people treat them.)About 20 minutes later my account logged me out and I couldn’t log back in.