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The reason was that he gave me intermittent reinforcement.

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Then, every so often, he would shower me with love and affection, and I would think, .But when he took the love and affection away, he was so distant, so self-involved, and I felt like the problem was me, that it was my fault.”We understand narcissism well enough to know that if you are dating a narcissist, or someone with narcissistic tendencies, you will very likely feel unsupported and put down.Ambition, motivation, even arrogance and desire for power, are good attributes when balanced with humility and not used at the expense of others. Needing to feel powerful by putting others down is unhealthy.Was there a time at the beginning of the relationship when you asked yourself, That was a good clue.Your partner will not empathize with you and will not be there for you.

Narcissists expect all the attention and will steal your good ideas, making them theirs.Their goal is to charm you and make you think it is all about you.If you weren’t blinded by the attention and weren’t questioning your own self-worth, you would realize a lot sooner that your date is interested in you only because you appear weak and less worthy.While many experts focus on the narcissist, I prefer to focus on and the lessons you need to learn so that you can let go, move on, and hopefully never repeat the experience.Before you can move on, the most important thing to understand about narcissists is that underneath their apparent self-confidence is a profound lack of self-esteem.Narcissists do not think well of themselves, and to make themselves feel better, they choose partners who doubt themselves and their capabilities.